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To commemorate this year’s RBS 6 Nations
Championship, The Lizard has decided to rely
on that staple of sports hackery, and compile a
Dream Team.
Unfortunately, we were distracted from our
evaluation of any serious sporting prowess by
the realisation that professional rugby, though
undeniably still 10 times more manly a sport
than professional soccer, is increasingly
populated by blokes with excessively time-
consuming hair-dos and, frankly, girly names.
Time was you could rely on a chap to have a
straightforward, rugby-type name like Bernard
Jackman. You could also rely on him to look like
Bernard Jackman.
In fact, the Irish hooker’s traditional aesthetic
has recently been described in the following
glowing terms:
‘Like Keith Wood but not as pretty.’
‘A Wood lookalike.’
‘Keith Wood’s brother? Cousin? Yul Brynner
lovechild with Telly Savalas?’
And ‘the most handsome man in the
professional game.’ (though it should be
acknowledged that this last was actually by
Keith Wood.)
It should also be noted that perhaps Jackman
has his own views on Keith Wood’s looks:
Championship, The Lizard has decided to rely
on that staple of sports hackery, and compile a
Dream Team.
Unfortunately, we were distracted from our
evaluation of any serious sporting prowess by
the realisation that professional rugby, though
undeniably still 10 times more manly a sport
than professional soccer, is increasingly
populated by blokes with excessively time-
consuming hair-dos and, frankly, girly names.
Time was you could rely on a chap to have a
straightforward, rugby-type name like Bernard
Jackman. You could also rely on him to look like
Bernard Jackman.
In fact, the Irish hooker’s traditional aesthetic
has recently been described in the following
glowing terms:
‘Like Keith Wood but not as pretty.’
‘A Wood lookalike.’
‘Keith Wood’s brother? Cousin? Yul Brynner
lovechild with Telly Savalas?’
And ‘the most handsome man in the
professional game.’ (though it should be
acknowledged that this last was actually by
Keith Wood.)
It should also be noted that perhaps Jackman
has his own views on Keith Wood’s looks:
But times have changed. So, without further
ado, and in honour of the daintiest names in
professional rugby today, here’s a First XI that
looks – on paper – like it ought rather to be
playing hockey at a (girls’) private school.
Perry Freshwater
Wendell Sailor
Aurelian Rougerie
Percy Montgomery
Leslie Vainikolo
Carlo del Fava
Sebastian Chabal
Stirling Mortlock
Josh Lewsey
Andrea Masi
Julien Bonnaire
(Waterboy: Butch James)
The Lizard – We could take ‘em. And we’d say
it to their faces, too.
ado, and in honour of the daintiest names in
professional rugby today, here’s a First XI that
looks – on paper – like it ought rather to be
playing hockey at a (girls’) private school.
Perry Freshwater
Wendell Sailor
Aurelian Rougerie
Percy Montgomery
Leslie Vainikolo
Carlo del Fava
Sebastian Chabal
Stirling Mortlock
Josh Lewsey
Andrea Masi
Julien Bonnaire
(Waterboy: Butch James)
The Lizard – We could take ‘em. And we’d say
it to their faces, too.
| © lizardmagazine.com, 2008 |
| The daintiest names in rugby (and some of the girliest haircuts, too!) Monday, February 11, 2008 |
A S H Smyth
‘It's nice to be compared with him but I'm
not sure we should be mentioned in the
same sentence.’
not sure we should be mentioned in the
same sentence.’