| Sign me up to receive the free weekly email |
 |
Born to Lead!
Curve-Crawling with Jacqui Smith
Friday, February 22, 2008
Britain’s Home Secretary, the woman famous for braving the unlit streets of
Hackney (with only a squad of armed Security Service minders to protect her) in
order to feed her nocturnal kebab habit, this week demonstrated a hitherto sadly
unrecognised political prescience.
Though much mud has been slung at Jacqui ‘Babs’ Smith – e.g. “Jacqui Smith: you
utter moron”, “Smith proposes legislation” and “Haircut! Haircut!” – she has finally
found a topic which has enabled her to demonstrate that she is well ahead of the
curve.
Not content to wait for the voting public to voice concerns on various topics, the
Secretary of State for Kebabs is leading the charge when it comes to burning issues
like immigration.
Her determination and intellectual clarity are evidenced by the fact that her
announcements came on the very same day as it was revealed that 46% of the
public also, by complete coincidence, think immigration is now a major problem (as
opposed to the 3% when Labour took over).
In an invigorating speech to the Commons, ‘Babs’ announced a bracing shake-up of
the entire citizenship concept. With the kind of panache so often lacking in
Westminster politics, she boldly stated that immigrants must not only work and
speak English, but also refrain from breaking the law AND pay taxes!
Ms Smith also said immigrants must play “a role in the community”. Which will be
good news for anyone bemoaning the shortage of decent late-night kebabs in their
area.
We in Britain can but dream of the day when our entire political class is weaned on
this potent cocktail of Churchillian foresight and rhetoric. ‘Babs’ is evidently wasted
at the Home Office: it can only be a matter of time before her gift for leadership is
universally acknowledged and she is seated majestically on the throne inside 10
Downing St.
– Dominic Hilton & A S H Smyth
© lizardmagazine.com, 2008
Back to the homepage
Curve-Crawling with Jacqui Smith
Friday, February 22, 2008
Britain’s Home Secretary, the woman famous for braving the unlit streets of
Hackney (with only a squad of armed Security Service minders to protect her) in
order to feed her nocturnal kebab habit, this week demonstrated a hitherto sadly
unrecognised political prescience.
Though much mud has been slung at Jacqui ‘Babs’ Smith – e.g. “Jacqui Smith: you
utter moron”, “Smith proposes legislation” and “Haircut! Haircut!” – she has finally
found a topic which has enabled her to demonstrate that she is well ahead of the
curve.
Not content to wait for the voting public to voice concerns on various topics, the
Secretary of State for Kebabs is leading the charge when it comes to burning issues
like immigration.
Her determination and intellectual clarity are evidenced by the fact that her
announcements came on the very same day as it was revealed that 46% of the
public also, by complete coincidence, think immigration is now a major problem (as
opposed to the 3% when Labour took over).
In an invigorating speech to the Commons, ‘Babs’ announced a bracing shake-up of
the entire citizenship concept. With the kind of panache so often lacking in
Westminster politics, she boldly stated that immigrants must not only work and
speak English, but also refrain from breaking the law AND pay taxes!
Ms Smith also said immigrants must play “a role in the community”. Which will be
good news for anyone bemoaning the shortage of decent late-night kebabs in their
area.
We in Britain can but dream of the day when our entire political class is weaned on
this potent cocktail of Churchillian foresight and rhetoric. ‘Babs’ is evidently wasted
at the Home Office: it can only be a matter of time before her gift for leadership is
universally acknowledged and she is seated majestically on the throne inside 10
Downing St.
– Dominic Hilton & A S H Smyth
© lizardmagazine.com, 2008
Back to the homepage
