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_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Asia on my Mind
with Hiran Balasuriya

Taleban sellouts, Burma chillouts, and
Facebook hoaxes
Thursday, January 10, 2008


Sellout

In a bizarre twist of fate, a former Taleban leader who sold out on his
Taleban buddies has been made governor of a town in the Afghan
province of Helmand. Mullah Abdul Salaam is now in charge of Musa
Qala, which was recently retaken by the government after nine months
of rebel possession.

Having hastily abandoned all his former principles, Salaam is now busily
proclaiming the virtues of the Afghan national government and urging his
constituents to put their faith in the international community. With his
life now very firmly on the line, Salaam's actions can presumably be
expected to speak at least as loud as his words; but it's touch and go
as to whether anyone in Afghanistan will still be listening.


Are You Serious?

Burma has initiated a series of low-key events to celebrate the 60th
anniversary of its independence from the British Empire. Inexplicably,
though, the oppressed masses did not feel like taking part. Celebrations
were quiet in the city, leaving officials of the military dictatorship baffled
as to why citizens were not taking to the streets in nationalistic
jubilation.

Meanwhile, the 'chillout sessions' organised by the generals, involving
one government delegate and 'opposition'-leader Aung San Suu Kyi,
have not fared much better. So far only one meeting has taken place
since the two parties met in November, and the schedule for the coming
months isn't looking too busy...


Cause and Effect

A Tamil Tiger intelligence officer, Colonel Charles, was killed in a clash
with Sri Lankan government troops. In retaliation, the Tigers launched a
land- and air-based attack on a military installation in Anuradhapura,
destroying planes. The government has now formally excused itself from
the ceasefire agreement (as opposed to doing so 'informally', which is
the usual protocol), the better to lay the smack down and show the
rebels what's what.

The SL military claims to have slain about 70 Tamil Tiger terrorists since
last Saturday. As usual, the Tigers refute this claim, and say that - in
precisely the same clashes - they have killed many government soldiers.
The government denies this and... plus ca change.


Give the Kid a Break

As if having your mother assassinated and having the fate of Pakistan
thrust into your hands weren't bad enough, the social networking
website, Facebook, has been forced to shut down at least two false
accounts claiming to belong to Bilawal (son of Benazir) Bhutto.

After close analysis of the accounts' profile content, photos, notes,
mini-feeds, posted items, groups and the extensive applications now
available on the website, it was decided that the accounts were both
bogus and they were promptly disabled.

Sherry Rehman, spokeswoman for the Pakistan People's Party, claimed
that each account was 'a hoax', and that 'it is someone else who has
done it'. Ms Rehman's deductive methods are clearly supported by
statements posted on the false accounts, such as: "I am not a born
leader. I am not a politician or a great thinker. I'm merely a student."



© lizardmagazine.com, 2008