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| From Jubilation T Cornpone (III) "Dear Sirs, Many's the time I've sat in my front room, eating my breakfast, and thought 'You know what this country really needs? It needs a satirical magazine, full of cut-price mockery and general foolishment, perhaps with a few illustrations purloined from hither (and yon). That would make Britain great again.' I envisage such a magazine being run by a dashing trio of infinitely eligible young men, who could charm the whiskers off an old lady while taking candy from a baby, and still hold the tune of a Gilbert & Sullivan chorus. Possibly they would even be of different heights, and this would become a running joke at the expense of the shortest. Who knows where it might lead? It could probably be managed with very little thought indeed: the internet seems to let one get away with almost anything. Please let me know if, in your researches, you happen upon just such a publication. It would be deserving of my fullest support, and that of all my friends. Yours, needfully, Jubilation T Cornpone (III)" |
| To the Daily Telegraph Dear Sirs, We read with great interest your list of the 'Top 100 Living Geniuses'. Unfortunately, though, we did not see our names on the list, not even collectively. This seemed a little odd, since our pre-publication must have been running for at least a week now, and we have quite a following: Jacob 'Mashini Wam' Zuma has even joined our Facebook group. While we appreciate that list-based journalism is not an exact science - we would prefer to have seen Hans Zimmer at about No 4, and would gladly have traded Sir Paul McCartney off the list entirely to achieve this - we feel we have been done a significant injustice. If you could be sure to print a full retraction, establishing us in our rightful place (perhaps somewhere around 65 or so), we would be most appreciative. Yours, earnestly, Dominic Hilton, Marc Sidwell, A S H Smyth Triumvirs, The Lizard Magazine [launching November 5th] |
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