| Check out our blog the monitor |
| Sign me up to receive the free weekly |
|
home
articles
editorials
bites
blog
gossip
love
letters
retractions
vacancies
competitions
about us
philosophy
contact
articles
editorials
bites
blog
gossip
love
letters
retractions
vacancies
competitions
about us
philosophy
contact
| _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ |
| OUR OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY |
Bacon salt: cult or condiment?
Thursday, December 20, 2007
O bacon salt, O bacon salt, how lovely are thy flavours…
I wish I were Justin and Dave. They were just two tech
guys techhing around – until one night over beer they said, “why isn’t
there bacon salt?”. They Googled to check there really wasn’t any, and
then dashed for the kitchen. Now they are at the head of a mighty
social movement to make everything taste like bacon.
The idea is simplicity itself: the two greatest flavours in the world,
bacon and salt, in one simple condiment shaker. What’s more, this is
bacon without the pig: it’s vegan, calorie-free, fat-free, requires no
frying pan – it’s even kosher. No one can complain about this: it’s
practically a public service.
Which is presumably why its fans do not so much buy bacon salt as
worship its glory. You can find adoring films on youtube, and Justin and
Dave have been sure to set up facebook and myspace pages to take
advantage of the cult following – one kind girl even dressed up as the
bacon salt fairy for Halloween and went round sprinkling the bacony
goodness for free. Zazzle have some great T-shirts. They have even
been supplying it to the bacon-starved troops in Iraq: there are videos
of marines in helicopters in full combat gear clutching their precious
bacon salt like a talisman.
Bacon: symbol of Western bliss. Why is a strip of fatty meat so iconic?
But it surely is – from the bacon-themed goodies at McPhee.com to the
Mitch Morgan cocktail at the Fat Alley BBQ – a shot of bourbon with a
slice of fried bacon sticking out of the glass – one that Justin and Dave
had been knocking back for years before their great insight. Perhaps it
is because it combines luxury with simplicity: there’s no affectation
about bacon. Pancetta is bacon that’s been to college, but it’s still
peasant food. Maybe too because it stands for the Western principle of
the refusal of taboos: to eat bacon is to think for yourself and to refuse
to be bound by tradition. Perhaps it’s just delicious.
Whatever the truth, bacon salt is taking this great tradition into the
twenty-first century. Leaving everything behind but the taste, bacon
salt is the triumph of man over matter; it is democracy on the tongue -
bacon opened to all all. Most of all, it was built by ordinary working
guys with nothing going for them but ingenuity and bacon love. Bacon
salt is the American dream.
All too American, in fact. Right now, bacon salt can only be enjoyed by
Americans. Oh, you can order some from the website and have it
shipped over, but you’re looking at more than thirty dollars for what
should be a four buck purchase.
This bacon-salt-shaped gap in our collective larder is a symbol of
European shortsightedness and quite possibly of civilisational decline.
That’s why The Lizard Magazine, in association with the Dangerous
Party for Adults, is determined to bring bacon salt to Britain. We will not
rest until British bangers and baked beans all taste like bacon. As more
and more food companies run scared of serving bacon, bacon salt has
never been more necessary for the health of our democracy or of our
nation’s arteries. Lives may well be saved—and without the loss of
deliciousness.
So write to your MP and your local supermarket. The march on
shortsighted retailers starts here.
Bacon salt for Britain! Our delicious manifesto.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
O bacon salt, O bacon salt, how lovely are thy flavours…
I wish I were Justin and Dave. They were just two tech
guys techhing around – until one night over beer they said, “why isn’t
there bacon salt?”. They Googled to check there really wasn’t any, and
then dashed for the kitchen. Now they are at the head of a mighty
social movement to make everything taste like bacon.
The idea is simplicity itself: the two greatest flavours in the world,
bacon and salt, in one simple condiment shaker. What’s more, this is
bacon without the pig: it’s vegan, calorie-free, fat-free, requires no
frying pan – it’s even kosher. No one can complain about this: it’s
practically a public service.
Which is presumably why its fans do not so much buy bacon salt as
worship its glory. You can find adoring films on youtube, and Justin and
Dave have been sure to set up facebook and myspace pages to take
advantage of the cult following – one kind girl even dressed up as the
bacon salt fairy for Halloween and went round sprinkling the bacony
goodness for free. Zazzle have some great T-shirts. They have even
been supplying it to the bacon-starved troops in Iraq: there are videos
of marines in helicopters in full combat gear clutching their precious
bacon salt like a talisman.
Bacon: symbol of Western bliss. Why is a strip of fatty meat so iconic?
But it surely is – from the bacon-themed goodies at McPhee.com to the
Mitch Morgan cocktail at the Fat Alley BBQ – a shot of bourbon with a
slice of fried bacon sticking out of the glass – one that Justin and Dave
had been knocking back for years before their great insight. Perhaps it
is because it combines luxury with simplicity: there’s no affectation
about bacon. Pancetta is bacon that’s been to college, but it’s still
peasant food. Maybe too because it stands for the Western principle of
the refusal of taboos: to eat bacon is to think for yourself and to refuse
to be bound by tradition. Perhaps it’s just delicious.
Whatever the truth, bacon salt is taking this great tradition into the
twenty-first century. Leaving everything behind but the taste, bacon
salt is the triumph of man over matter; it is democracy on the tongue -
bacon opened to all all. Most of all, it was built by ordinary working
guys with nothing going for them but ingenuity and bacon love. Bacon
salt is the American dream.
All too American, in fact. Right now, bacon salt can only be enjoyed by
Americans. Oh, you can order some from the website and have it
shipped over, but you’re looking at more than thirty dollars for what
should be a four buck purchase.
This bacon-salt-shaped gap in our collective larder is a symbol of
European shortsightedness and quite possibly of civilisational decline.
That’s why The Lizard Magazine, in association with the Dangerous
Party for Adults, is determined to bring bacon salt to Britain. We will not
rest until British bangers and baked beans all taste like bacon. As more
and more food companies run scared of serving bacon, bacon salt has
never been more necessary for the health of our democracy or of our
nation’s arteries. Lives may well be saved—and without the loss of
deliciousness.
So write to your MP and your local supermarket. The march on
shortsighted retailers starts here.
Bacon salt for Britain! Our delicious manifesto.
| CONTACT THE LIZARD |
| Marc Sidwell is not joking |
© lizardmagazine.com, 2007
ALSO SEE
ALSO SEE
- Make Me An Offer: Masterpiece For Sale
- Evil Gets All The Best Seats
- The Average Speed Camera: a taste of life in North Korea
- Dangerous Party for Adults: time to do the math
- The McCann Case Explained
- Beowulf: I'll have your lizard head on a spike
- Want to know the meaning of life? Go see Ratatouille
- Why I'm launching the Dangerous Party for Adults
| Updated at least 26½ times a day |